I’m Your Plus One

I just got back from your first party where I was invited by people who never met your mommy.

I’ll Give You My Credit Card

A jackhammer was taking up residence in my brain when I picked you up from your Abuela.

I swear she is catnip for 6-year-olds.

The ear did heal. I did not.

I got gaslit by a five-year-old.