Dear Vanessa,

I’m writing this literally right after putting Luciana to sleep. No way I’m going to risk forgetting it.

Your daughter watched me pee today. She has been watching me pee since she was nine months old.

But you know that already. You read my book already right?

You better have.

I wasn’t trying to put on a show. But she is starting to notice things she never had before.

She stared. Hard. The kind of stare that means a question is coming and you’re not going to be ready for it.

She likes to boop my nose. I know this information isn’t earth shattering. She isn’t the first toddler alive that likes boops.

But she LOVES it. It’s her whole thing. She sees a nose, she boops it. She sees her own nose in the mirror, she boops it. She tried to boop a stranger at the playground last week. I had to apologize.

So she’s staring. And then her little finger comes up.

And she goes for it.

“NO. No no no no no. We don’t boop that.”

“Boop.” I stop her boop attempt.

“That’s a penis. We don’t boop the penis.”

She looked down. Then looked at me confused. She went into the tank for about fifteen seconds. You could see the gears turning.

“It’s for Daddy. You don’t have one.”

Without missing a beat. “Let’s go shopping. I want one.”

“They don’t sell them at the store.”

She stared at me like I had personally failed her.

Then she went quiet. Contemplative. Processing the news that capitalism had limits.

Then.

“I fawded.”

And she let out a fart. A real one. Full commitment.

Then she kissed me on the cheek and laughed.

I’m so excited to tell this story when she turns sixteen.

Besitos,

Michael