Dear Vanessa,

I wrote a letter in the book about how when Luciana called your mother Mommy, I felt a certain way about it. Well, that was over six months ago at this point. Although it feels like yesterday. Time has no meaning after you died.

Luciana says Mommy all the time now. She has called me Mommy. She has called your mother Mommy. Even random people get called Mommy.

I finally figured out what she is saying.

When she calls someone Mommy, it is usually when she is upset. It is usually what happens when someone is leaving. When she calls someone Mommy, it means I miss you.

I hate it.

Before you call me a Grinch, I am allowed to hate it. I know it might seem cute. I know some people might think it is a connection to you.

Nope.

I hate it.

I want you to be Mommy. I do not want Mommy to mean me, or your mother, or some sweet little toddler translation into something meaningful and profound.

I want Mommy to mean you. And only you.

Does that make me cranky? Probably.

I am not going to correct her. I have learned that lesson. But I will nudge her in the right direction. I will continuously give her positive reinforcement when you are called Mommy.

You will always be Mommy. No matter how cute the alternative is.

Besitos,

Michael